I’ve found some people makes Happiness out to be this really hard and difficult thing that only special people can have. But really there’s soooo much happiness around for everyone in the world, it’s just a case of grabbing the feeling, embracing it and enjoying it as much as possible. Very few people are happy all the time every single day of every single minute but it’s important you don’t let the small things destroy your happiness. Here are 10 steps that can easily stop you from being happy and I can relate to them all.
- I’ll be happy when ……
- Accountability – believing happiness can be found outside of ourselves
- Negative thoughts
- Not living in the present
- Not being grateful for what you have
- It’s the journey not the destination
- the fear of failure
- the fear of what might happen to you
- the fear of what others think
- the fear of what if
- the fear of the unknown
Every bit of fear you experience is holding back your happiness inside.
Everybody fails throughout life but its the ones who face it and keep going who are the strong happy ones. No one can predict the future but continuously fearing about what might happen next will destroy your happiness, remember to live in the moment. Worrying all the time about what others think of you will hold you back so much. It’s important that you are yourself and learn that people need to accept you for you and if they can’t do that then they are the unhappy ones.
What if ….. I don’t make it to work on time, What if ….. I can’t make to my daughters dancing show, What if ….. my mum’s flight doesn’t arrive on time. All these What if’s are just thoughts that your mind is producing to waste time. Your mind is just coming up with negative thoughts of what could happen, instead we should be enjoying every minute as no one knows what the future holds and analysing it will only make your fear worse. Try to embrace every moment that life has give you, those who can are the happy ones.
I’ll be happy when ……
I always felt in my younger years that happiness will come once I’ve finished school …. I’ll be happy, found the man of my dreams …. I’ll be happy, came back from my travels …. I’ll be happy, moved out of my parents house …. I’ll be happy, graduated college …. I’ll be happy. It was always a case of I’m not feeling happy now but once I …….. I will be happy, but it didn’t happen and even to this day I can still here my mind saying it’s okay as I’ll be happy when ……
I have to say STOP to my mind, let myself reflect and look at the exciting things coming up and also everything I already have right now and why I’m happy and also lucky to have all of these things.
When I was young I was always comparing myself to the other girls in my class. Am I too fat? Is my hair nice today? Is my make-up okay? Am I dressed okay? I would think about all these things then compare them in my head to all the other girls in school!
Not sure if I’m the only one who done this, but I’m pretty sure it’s an on going thing especially for teenagers.
I found it really hard to stop comparing myself to other people until I found my true self and who I was deep down. Through telling myself each day that I was a unique individual and that there was only one of me, it enabled me to stop wasting time comparing myself to others.
Accountability – believing happiness can be found outside of ourselves
A lot of people believe that happiness can be found outside of ourselves. This means I will be happy when I get lots more money in my account or I will be happy when I find the perfect man or happiness will come to me when I have my dream job. I was always like this, I would wish that happiness would come when I got a better job or once I have my own house. I then realised these are all material things and happiness is found from inside you. Once I found my happiness, I realised the materials do not control my happiness and if all my materials had disappeared I would still be happy, as happiness comes from self love.
Expecting certain things and if they don’t happen can make you unhappy at times. This is where it is important to learn to appreciate everything you have around you currently. Because if you keep wanting more and more and more you will end up being disappointed where as; is you appreciate the small stuff like your family and friends, then that’s when you will receive more in return.
I have always been someone who thinks negative thoughts. I find it very hard to stop thinking negatively especially if you have an event or incident in your life that changes you. For example losing a family member, becoming very sick or failing an exam. It is very hard to be positive all the time, though I have found if a big event like this happens to you, try writing done all the negatives about it, then maybe a day later try writing down the positives and how you plan to move forward in a positive way.
Not living in the present
Very much like ‘I’ll be happy when….’ Not being able to live in the present is saying to yourself, I’ll be happy when…. or even I was happy back when…. It is so important you live for now not for what is to come or what has already happened to you. I found it very hard to live each day in the present moment, but once I was able to find my centre though yoga, it then enabled me to stop worrying about everything that needs done and take everything one step at a time.
I find everyone is very busy busy busy with their life but when it comes to happiness its all about balance. You need to find time to sit down and appreciate everything you have or your busyness will take over your life. Also it’s important that you find time for yourself ‘you time’ where you take 1 hour or 30 minutes everyday to do something for you that enjoy, a hobby or just relaxing. This enables you to escape from all the busy busy busyness and do something you enjoy and makes you happy.
Not being grateful for what you have
Being grateful for all the little things in your life is so important if you want to be happy. By appreciating all the little things in your life, like the roof over your head, the meals you eat everyday and the family and friends you have around you, is all it can take to open up more happiness in your life. I found I was always busy busy busy or wanting other things before I was able to realise all the things I have that I should be thankful for if I want a happy future.
It’s the journey not the destination
Life is a journey and thinking that you will be happy once you get to the destination is not going to happen. Thinking that once I pass my driving test – I will be happy or once I get a better job/finish college – I will be happy. You need to learn to enjoy the journey of going after something new. Did you really thinking you were going to wake up in morning and magically be able to drive or have a better job or be graduating! It takes time and that is why its important to enjoy every minute and live your happy life to the fullest.
For more information on these 10 steps please go to my YOGA page.